The Edge

He stepped up to the red rocky cliff and looked out on the vast menacing canyon below. The view shared a striking resemblance to the badlands that he had seen as a kid in Arizona. He couldn?t help but ponder where life?s journey had thus far taken him. He chuckled to himself as he remembered a saying a friend often said; "It?s called Present because each day is a gift from God". "If that?s true," he said, "I am really not sure what to do with His gift". Truthfully, he could think of a number of things that he could do with this "present", and yet they all seem to fall short. He then laughed a nervous laugh at the pun he just made. He did seem to feel a deep chasm in his heart A chasm that he was now responsible for. Through growing up, he has found that he could rely on others to spur on his walk with Jesus Christ. In High School when he first met Jesus, it was through the youth group retreats, weekly gatherings and prayer meetings that he would stay encouraged in his faith. Then in college he was surrounded with encouragement. He witnessed many who were so in love with their Maker, and he saw this lived out. But now his relationship with them had changed. He would no longer see those same people on a daily basis, or even a monthly basis any more. Now he went from having everyone to no one. Of course things weren?t as bleak as this picture his mind painted for him, but isn?t the reality that we know through our mind?s eye. And further more, isn?t out decisions and moods therefore vulnerable to our mind?s chemical state. Perhaps with a little more serotonin in his amygdale would prevent him from asking such questions. Then he would remain as high as a kite. "But what goes up must come down" he told himself. He reminded himself that it was in the valleys of this life that he had formed who he was and especially his attachment to God. He knew this wasn?t about the chemical processes in his head, even if they were responsible for what was taking place right then. This was about a choice. This September he would have no Indiana Wesleyan University. He would have no "Spring Summit" to rekindle that purifying fire within. He would not have such an abundance of friends to pour into him what he desperately longed for. There was no doubt that he still needed the Body of Christ, this was for sure. But now it was his turn, his part to play.
He looked back at the winding road he had traveled to come up to this cliff. It seemed long, but that was deceptive and he knew that the trail ahead would be much longer. Then he looked to the sides of him. He noticed a path shortly east of his position along the cliff. The path traveled alongside this menacing chasm, you could get the feel of the great divide without falling into it. The path seemed like it had been traveled often. He sighed in a tired expression and removed his backpack and set it on rock beside him. In it he had all he needed to survive on the journey. Sadly, he had already learned that he wasn?t able to take it with him. There were other packs there too. A variety of different hiking packs; some were larger, others more colorful. It would seem their owners also learned that non-of this mattered, since the pack can no go with them. He stepped back from the ledge as thoughts went racing in his head. There was still so much to do, so much he wanted to know. And yet, he felt that all events in his life were experiencing a culmination at this moment. It was like they had been quizzes that were all leading up to this final test. Quizzes that were preparing him for this day. He stepped back farther from the ledge and pondered some more. He knew it was pointless to try anymore. Trying just didn?t work. He wasn?t strong enough to try the rest of his life. "Try to grow closer to God?" No, trying was impossibility, it could not be done. He would have to surrender everything, even the act of trying. "I need you!" he bursts out from the deep chasm in his heart, stepped back a little bit more, and then lunged forward. His breaths became gasps and air flowed through his hair and around his body as he sprinted towards the edge of the cliff. He ran with as much strength as he could muster towards the cliff. When he reached the cliff, he had no time to hesitate. Instead he thrusts his legs out from the rocks, propelling him horizontally as he fell vertically. As tears formed in his eyes from the sharp wind cutting around his face he thought, "I?ve done my part, it?s your turn Jesus".