a dream within a dream....

Last night I had a dreamed that I was dreaming about my ex girlfriend. It is weird to have a dream in a dream. Then in my dream I was analyzing what I needed to do in response to my dream. In my dream was planning how I would get her back. It was interesting because I don’t think about her much anymore, however she still seems to haunt my subconscious. Why is it that there are those who still haunt us despite having little to do with our current lives? People who have left their mark so vividly that even in their absence they haunt our dreams. Be wary of the people you entrust yourself to. The impact they have may be far greater than you can ever realize.

Driving vs. Crashing Through Life...

Yesterday one of my housemates (and the nephew of the landlord) wrecked his car. Somehow he managed to hit a guardrail head on. As I heard him arguing with his uncle in a mixture of Polish/English, It made me reflect on an epiphany I had come to the week before while reading Tim Kellers Counterfeit Gods. To really dive into it, I need to introduce it as it was revealed to me.
Have you ever found yourself frantically search for your keys as you contemplate on being late for an appointment or work? If not, I commend you..., and you're a weirdo. For those more normal individuals who occasional find themselves misplacing things, this may strike a cord. I assure you there is a sense of urgency, and you experience a sense of tunnel vision where nothing else matters. The reasoning behind this is simple, if we can't find our keys then we can't get to where we need to go.
In Ephesians 2 we here Paul talk about the same dependence. Why don't I radically pursue Christ like I do when I lost my keys? Don't I realize I will never be able to drive on the Christian Road of life without Him? My past week I did little this to seek Jesus, and the byproduct was a multitude of selfish decisions. However, focusing on not making those selfish decisions is fruitless, because if I did not want to make them I would not have. My problem is I need to change not just behavior, but the mind in heart that leads to such behavior. Despite what psychology has taught me, I seem to be unable to do on my own. Therefor, absolute surrender seems to be the only option.

Life in Christ

Chapter 3 of Collossians has such a similar message to the one Tim Keller Presents in Counterfeit Gods. Tim's Message focuses on the Empty Promises of Money, Sex, and Power. Paul's message is that "we are to be concerned about heavenly things". This section is not a 10 point bulleted list of ways to "live the Christian life"... but rather something so simple it is easily missed, "Set your mind on things above...". If I lost my keys, I would look for them where I suspect I lost them. I wouldn't do anything else before I find them, probably because I wouldn't be able to get where I am going without them. I need to be as passionate when finding true life "In Christ", I must go where Christ is, and seek Christ, for only then will I be able to get anywhere in the Christian life.

After reading this article, i am wondering if my ambiguious tendency was a factor in my three year dating relationship. The high ambivalence had been useful in counseling situations, but not ideal in long term relationships.

"Such shades-of-gray people tend to have trouble in relationships...they stay in relationships longer..."

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703694204575518200704692936.html

My problem with Multi-Level Marketing

I had two friends pitch Network marketing (multi level marketing) to me last week. Not a fan of the whole process, especially since it has some inherent flaws. However, my problem is that I can no longer trust my friends. Let me explain. When I watch a advertisement on TV, I already know there is an agenda attached to the ad. However, when a friend recommends me something, I am typically more apt to consider their recommendation. However, when a friend wants to talk to me about network marketing (and does not tell me upfront), automatically they become a walking commercial to me, pushing to others what ultimately benefits them. I know in some fashion or another we all do this with our peers- but at a socially acceptable level. However, with multi-marketing, friends become dollar signs. I never wish to see my friends as means to an end.

faith.... allowing us to believe in fiction?

After just having a great conversation with my office-mate about God, I am attempting to understand how he perceives the world. He sees faith as a way to believe the ridiculous. I have actually heard that statement a number of times with people, perhaps more so since moving to California. Is faith truly a way for us to bridge the gap between reason and the ridiculous? When Jesus talks about faith, how is it defined in the culture of His day? How do I communicate faith to a western world that believes science and religion are opposing forces? A world that does not believe what it can't see, and scoffs at the idea of God as the Creator Have we the church created this paradigm by not adhering to 1 Peter 3:15? Are we as individuals not prepared to give an answer to why we follow Christ? Have we not asked our self the tough questions that the outside world asks of us? Have we not given it with gentleness and respect? I find that those who are most adamant about their point in a discussion, are least comfortable with it. Perhaps more time should be spent reflecting on why we have hope. Do we except blindly what was put before us as children? Let us not forget that we are to worship God in both Spirit and Truth (John 4:23).

Usability testing & revealing the True Self....

If I've learned one thing while doing usability testing these past couple weeks with participants, it is not to ask them about what they would do in the future. The thing is, when asked about a future scenario, many people do their best to answer truthfully. However, they answer with their ideal behavior. We like to think we'll behave in the most logical, effective manner. In short, we want to think we'll do the right thing. However, people don't always act logically, and we don't always do what's ideal. It is true we want to predict future behavior so we can anticipate software that will respond to this behavior. Yet, asking participants may not get the answer we need.The best way to predict future behavior is to look at past behavior.

The statement has personal implications as well. If we want to see the predisposed pattern that we gravitate towards, look at past decisions. If we want a realistic portrayal of our self... look at past decisions. Get the picture? To better understand the true self vs. the ideal self.... look at the decisions the true self has made. This reveals his/her strengths and faults, his/her shining moments and his/her sins. The best way to reach the ideal self is realize you are not that person- and embrace the true self.