After reading this article, i am wondering if my ambiguious tendency was a factor in my three year dating relationship. The high ambivalence had been useful in counseling situations, but not ideal in long term relationships.

"Such shades-of-gray people tend to have trouble in relationships...they stay in relationships longer..."

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703694204575518200704692936.html

My problem with Multi-Level Marketing

I had two friends pitch Network marketing (multi level marketing) to me last week. Not a fan of the whole process, especially since it has some inherent flaws. However, my problem is that I can no longer trust my friends. Let me explain. When I watch a advertisement on TV, I already know there is an agenda attached to the ad. However, when a friend recommends me something, I am typically more apt to consider their recommendation. However, when a friend wants to talk to me about network marketing (and does not tell me upfront), automatically they become a walking commercial to me, pushing to others what ultimately benefits them. I know in some fashion or another we all do this with our peers- but at a socially acceptable level. However, with multi-marketing, friends become dollar signs. I never wish to see my friends as means to an end.

faith.... allowing us to believe in fiction?

After just having a great conversation with my office-mate about God, I am attempting to understand how he perceives the world. He sees faith as a way to believe the ridiculous. I have actually heard that statement a number of times with people, perhaps more so since moving to California. Is faith truly a way for us to bridge the gap between reason and the ridiculous? When Jesus talks about faith, how is it defined in the culture of His day? How do I communicate faith to a western world that believes science and religion are opposing forces? A world that does not believe what it can't see, and scoffs at the idea of God as the Creator Have we the church created this paradigm by not adhering to 1 Peter 3:15? Are we as individuals not prepared to give an answer to why we follow Christ? Have we not asked our self the tough questions that the outside world asks of us? Have we not given it with gentleness and respect? I find that those who are most adamant about their point in a discussion, are least comfortable with it. Perhaps more time should be spent reflecting on why we have hope. Do we except blindly what was put before us as children? Let us not forget that we are to worship God in both Spirit and Truth (John 4:23).

Usability testing & revealing the True Self....

If I've learned one thing while doing usability testing these past couple weeks with participants, it is not to ask them about what they would do in the future. The thing is, when asked about a future scenario, many people do their best to answer truthfully. However, they answer with their ideal behavior. We like to think we'll behave in the most logical, effective manner. In short, we want to think we'll do the right thing. However, people don't always act logically, and we don't always do what's ideal. It is true we want to predict future behavior so we can anticipate software that will respond to this behavior. Yet, asking participants may not get the answer we need.The best way to predict future behavior is to look at past behavior.

The statement has personal implications as well. If we want to see the predisposed pattern that we gravitate towards, look at past decisions. If we want a realistic portrayal of our self... look at past decisions. Get the picture? To better understand the true self vs. the ideal self.... look at the decisions the true self has made. This reveals his/her strengths and faults, his/her shining moments and his/her sins. The best way to reach the ideal self is realize you are not that person- and embrace the true self.

Stolen Waters

The moment the human body experiences that kind of relationship (sexual intimacy), the seduction is to find the feeling without the cost of it. And the cost of it actually is what preserves the feeling, otherwise even the feeling ultimately dies...it is not a feeling, it is a fact of a commitment which properly expressed, preserves the feeling. Improperly expressed, the feeling will die out and the person becomes diminished in the process.
...as painful as it is, you have to find ways and means ... to crucify yourself in that desire, and ask the Christ ...to be to you what only he can be to you in this and nobody else can. - Ravi Zacharias

Language # 2

I guess it should be no surprise that the the more motivated you are to learn a language, the more successful you will be at language acquisition. I've been "trying" to learn Spanish since visiting Honduras back in 2006. However, I guess trying means listening to the podcast "Coffee Break Spanish" every so often and taping Spanish flash cards up around my room.

However, staying motivated to learn a second language seems equally as daunting as the language itself. One of the benefits of learning a language young include hearing the difference in pronunciation, which are cemented at a early age. Plus your faculties and energy are more honed in this skill. Since learning a language for me is simply recreational, I find it difficult to devote the time needed to the task. Right now learning consists of watching Soy tu Duena and a impromptu flash card session. I'm not even sure how helpful watching the hour long Spanish soap opera (it's true what they say) a day truly is. I hope one day I'll have the benefit of immersion to motivate me- but until then I'm left with a half heated motivation. On top of that, my recent schooling in french was actually detrimental to the Spanish I did know (it's called double semi lingualism). If you have stuck it out and do speak two languages- kudos.

The Truth about Science...

This started as a simple response to a friends blog, however the response elaborated into my own post.
Objectivity is a tenant of science like legs are the foundations of a table. However, any firm believers in such objectivity may be sadly dismayed to find that objectivity better resembles the tablecloth rather than the foundation. Jack Webb's character on Dragnet was infamous for saying just the facts ma'am. (On a brief side note, this phrase is incorrect. The actual phrase was All we know are the facts ma'am). You may have also heard the popular phrase "the facts speak for themself".

Research is conducted to find the facts of a situation. However, those facts are sought to prove or disprove a hypothesis. When we make an argument for a case, our arguments contain a premise and conclusion. So what if a underlying premise is difficult to deduce? For instance, the statement "We are causing global warming" contains a underlying premise: the rate of increase in global warming is increasing, the increase is unhealthy, and we are the cause.

I still believe it is important to do extensive research in your suppositions and science is the best model we have of pursuing knowledge- but it is simply a tool that's at the mercy of its wielder. Scientist are still attempting to prove their own hypothesis. (not saying that in itself is not a bad thing; as human factors expert Jeff Atwood points out in his blog, research without a purpose is pointless). Therefore, unless you read the raw data, your simply getting a experts point of view. While good scientist recognize that they have an innate bias and factor that into their tests, this added value is lost on the reader if they lack a understanding of the data and statistics used to analyze the data. Since the average person is often unaware of complex arithmetic equations used in research, they are forced to trust the deductions of the experts. But, the experts don't always know what they are talking about (read the book "the experts speak" if you doubt this).

So to summarize, we should be aware that often we are getting someone's interpretation of the facts. These interpretations themselves carry their own baggage. This is unavoidable, since everything we do is colored with emotional overtones. Basically we can't strip the impact that emotions play in our decisions, choices, and beliefs. However, that's a topic for a different time...