The Old Man & the Fox

(Not a true story, however it was inspired by my first experience with a Fox yesterday)

There was an old man, retired, who lived deep in the woods alone. However, the man did not feel alone. He had the birds to sing to him in the morning and the coyote’s song at night. His entertainment was watching the dear and the rabbit from his porch and the mischief of the possum. But his most recent and favorite guest of all was the fox.

Once a week the man would take 40 minutes drive into town to visit and gather food. He had the same routine of visiting the library for a few books, than the grocery store for some perishable items and sometimes the hardware store. The last stop he always made though was to visit the butcher, to buy leftover scraps for his friend- the fox.

The fox was a slender small little creature who made his first appearance only a short while ago. He was an extremely short animal, only a foot off the ground. The little fox seemed to have been separated from his pack. He was quite skinny and sniffed the grown around the porch for food. The old man sat on the porch and thought to himself that such an unusually shy creature must have a stomach louder than his fear of humans.

The kind old man had pity on the fox and threw out some scraps onto his hard from his dinner that evening. The fox readily consumed the scraps of food, and left. The following day around the same time, the man was on the porch and noticed this fox had returned, licking his lips in expectation. The old man welcomed the new company and gladly provided the days dinner. This pattern continued till almost a year had gone by.

One day however, the fox did not meet the man at their scheduled time. The man waited for a while- and finally went to bed. When he noticed the fox was absent again the second day, he went on a hike to find his mammalian friend. The man walked for miles and miles in the woods until evening approached. Before the sun sought to hide its face, the old man found his friend. Upon closer inspection, the man saw that the fox’s leg was caught in a trap. The man could see the fear on his little friends auburn haired face, and felt pity. The man reached down to release the creature from his bind. The fox felt fear and bewilderment- he did not understand the man’s intentions, only that the man was causing his leg to hurt more. The fox bit the old man.

The man withdrew his hand in pain, and for a moment was tempted to leave the fox. However, the man thought to himself, “my friend hurt me, but could it be because he is scared and in pain? If I truly care for this creature- I would think about his needs above my own.” Therefore, the man did not withdraw his help, even when the fox bit him a second and third time. After about ten minutes, the man was able to help the fox get his leg out of the trap. When the fox was finally free, he dashed into the woods, never seen from again by the old man. The man walked home and treated his wounds; all the while hoping the fox would be able to recover from his wounded leg.

The next time the man was in town, he swung by the butcher to pick up food for himself. The butcher asked about the bite marks on the old mans arm and change in meat purchases. The man shared with him the story of his friend, the fox. The Bucher responded in bewilderment, “Why did you help a creature that hurt you in return, and showed no gratitude in the end.”

The man replied with a soft smile on his face “Caring means initiating without expecting a return. It seeks to understand the plight of a friend, even when they don’t understand it themselves. It may even mean hurting a friend more to help them in the end. It could involve subjecting oneself to pain, simply to see a friend free.” As the man left, the butcher was surprised at all the wisdom the man had gained simply from opening his heart to a small creature- the fox.

Touch me!

Touch is good for physical health. It is a primary reinforcer and is inherently pleasurable. When you get touched on the forearm, it sends a signal to your orbital frontal cortex, which is involved in reward (click here to learn more). This is very similar to when we taste pleasurable foods, like chocolate for instance. The tactile system is also the largest system in the body and first to develop in a fetus (check out Haptic Communication). I probably should throw a disclaimer in here. Context is key. If a girl I liked touches me on the arm , then my heart is through the roof. However, I don’t like when mr. strange comes up behind me and starts rubbing my shoulders. Different cultures also have their own set of norms. For instance, in Thai culture, it can be considered offense to touch someone’s head.

This phenomenon is not unique to our species alone. France Dual & Jane Goodal discovered that chimps groom each other when there is no bugs in their environment. And why do chimps systematically share food with those who've recently groomed them? Because touch brings about reciprocity. Darleen Francis of UC Berkley also found that rat mothers who spend more tactile content with their babies had cubs with stronger immune responses and calmer responses to environmental stresses. (check out pg 170 in book emotions, stress, and health).
Not only has tactical content shown to reduce/remove external stresses, but babies also have been shown to live longer if they receive daily tactile content (cited in this article on orphanages). The research shows it and your body knows it- we want to be touched!

To learn more, check out the lecture "The Communications of Emotion" By UC Berkly professor Dacher Keltner- which you can download if you click here.

Going Ergo- to the -nomics

Currently I work as a Usability Engineer in silicon valley. This means I deal heavily on Ergonomics, which is applying what we have learned in human sciences like psychology or medicine to improve the workplace (in this case the user to computer interface. The reason we do this is to offer secure solutions that are comfortable. To me this sounded easy at first, but consider if you will that people don't always know what they want (check out Malcom Gladwells TED talk for a frame of reference). Plus, factor in the diverse variety of users we have to design for. Each with their own slew of habits, knowledge and expectations. At times when I am designing these user interfaces, I feel I am shooting in the dark.

However, my psychological studies have enlighten me to certain human characteristics of our sensory, cognitive, and motor system that provides me with some framework. For instance, our working memory is roughly limited to what Georges Miller defined as 7 mnemes (information units). Where as our long term memory is able of storing an indefinite number of pieces of information (check out this woman who remembers everything!). One way to bridge this gap is by repetition, so when I design, I attempt to build repetition into the interface.

If you think the sensory system is complex, just try factoring in our cognitive system. Our brain is what forms the mental representation prior to action, but these mental representations are susceptible to any number of internal or external variables that makes it exceedingly difficult to fully empathize with the user. To keep it simple, I try to stick to a series of rules when creating an interface. They are as follows:

Short messages to enhance memorization
Put important info at the top
All information must be 3 clicks away
Allow each access to the home screen
keep navigation elements consistent from page to page.
Segmentation
Including feedback from to ensure the user is receiving a true representation of the system

What is Heartbreak?

What is heartbreak? I believe it is giving your heart to another, and finding out they don't value it as high as you do. The feeling is indescribable. I better empathize for any I've hurt and ask for forgiveness for any heart i have not treated delicately. I am sorry to any whose hearts I have broken in anyway.



God has enabled me to reflect on this. I admit I'm still really close to it (45 minutes ago). However, I would not do anything differently. The experience has only confirmed what I've learned from previous heartbreaks. I would rather have you learn from me then experience it yourself...

1) If you end the relationship- it is not helpful to follow up with dating advise. Don't try to be a matchmaker.
2) They may feel horrible afterwards. It is better to expect this.
3) After you break it off, it is no longer your job to console the other person.
4) It nobel to want to provide closure- but short and sweet is the best way to end things.

5) It will take time to move on. Allow for such time, your thinking may be tainted by the emotional backlash. Don't make any immediate decisions that may have lasting consequences.
6) You may find yourself wanting to rebound. Resist this temptation, or risk loosing friends of the opposite gender who are close to you.
7) The longer you are together, the harder the break will be (and vice versa).
8) The more physical intimacy you share, the harder the break will feel.

9) No Girl (or guy) will be every girl (or guy). Don't end the relationship because they laugh too hard or can't swim like you.
10) Have God given standards that exist before you meet someone. If they don't meet up to these standards, then they're not the person for you- no matter how strongly you feel for them.
11) It may feel like no one can take their place. However, there is approximately 6,697,254,041 people in the world... so chances are someone will.
12) You can't really choose who you are attracted to. Attraction may emerge over time. If it does not- don't force it.
You should be attracted to physical appearance and personality. It is best not to initiate unless you feel both.

I am only 26, there may be exceptions to these rules that I'm unaware of. Yet, if you are younger than me, I doubt you know better. Save yourself some heartache and learn from me. Wish you the best in Life and Love.
-Nate

Remember....

It caught my eye, a 25 year old named Nate from California who worked with one of the organizations I sponsored- Invisible Children- ripped from this world by a Islamic Extremist. A guy I don't even know has died and I am effected. I am sad that a young man around my age who has spoken out for the voiceless is now silenced. I am sad that another extremist from the Shabab in Somalia have taken lives in Uganda because the country contributes to the African Union peacekeeping mission in Somalia. I'm sad because this extremist group that condemn music, dancing and sports, have been arrogant enough to consider themselves purging evil from this planet. In a NY Times article a spokesperson for the group was quoted as saying “Uganda is one of our enemies. Whatever makes them cry, makes us happy. May Allah’s anger be upon those who are against us.” His statement caches me off guard. How could he think he is doing God's Will? Then I'm reminded how often we live our lives daily without even considering "God's Will". This terrorist knew a different God than I do. I am left to ponder, how would his life have been different if he had known the same God that both Nate and I do. May God be with Nate's family- and all the others effected by this disaster.

Danger!

The danger of giving your heart away, is sometimes it comes back broken...

Friendship

As I approach my last days in Muncie, I think about how the Lord has brought people in my life that have brought me joy along the journey.
A wise man named Aristotle categorized three types of friends. 1) friendships based on utility- like coworkers or business partners 2) friendships based on pleasure- like friends we enjoy partying with. 3) friends based on admiration for an others good character. The third friendships are more fulfilling, but rare. Such friends may be transitional-sharing the road we transverse for a period of time while making life's journey joyful. At times such friends may become written on our hearts. As sad as I am go see our paths diverge, I know that God will introduce me to new people on my journey.