Do you need to smile today?

For the many in the world today who just maybe need a laugh, here are some of my favorite one liners...and don't take life so seriously, otherwise you will never get out alive.

1. I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
2. If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat?
3. We have enough youth. How about a fountain of "Smart"?
4. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
5. Campers: Nature's way of feeding mosquitoes.
6. Save a tree. Eat a beaver.
7. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
8. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
9. As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
10. Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
11. Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
12. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
13. DARE to keep cops off donuts.
14. Dyslexics of the world, untie!
15. Don't steal. The government hates competition.
16. Humpty Dumpty was pushed.
17. The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
18. We are all part of the great statistic, 10 out of 10 people will die. This point may not be funny, but their is nothing funny about not knowing where your going when you die. Please, I beg of you to search for an absolute truth.

A huge disaster and a ounce of truth...

After going on a five-day trip to help the victims of hurricane Katrina, I must confess feelings of utter helplessness and sadness. To see the far-reaching impact of the disaster and yet how profoundly impacted each individual life was. My heart goes out to the many more now that do not have a place to call home, nor a roof over their heads. It is also sad that many insurance companies are not considering the flood damage part of the hurricane. Only those impacted directly by the winds and waves are covered by insurance. Many are left to fend for themselves and without government aid or fellow human compassion they would be helpless. But isn't that how it works in a capitalist system based on social Darwinism? The strong survive and the weak are washed away? Hardly, for situations like this can not be explained by social Darwinism or any other political/social/spiritual theory (nor should they be). One should not be caught up in a figure of speech so that the "metaphor becomes an ideology". Bad things happen, that is an unavoidable truth that we can not change. How we respond to them is a different matter. After just getting back from Gulf Port in Mississippi, I can tell you that there is still very much a need for volunteers to help. We went through World Hope; you can check it out here at http://www.worldhope.org/e-letters/sept05e-letter.htm.

"To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world."-Anonymous

A book mark made out of dead skin cells?

I will tell you a story and you can tell me if you find this disgusting. While I was in a class I took out my book entitled "The Portable Arthur Miller", a small paperback book containing some of Arthur Millers greatest plays. I had purchased the book online some time ago and had not gotten around to opening it yet. Well, when I opened it for the first time I found something quite repulsive in my opinion...Hair. Not just one or to strands, but many hair follicles littered in the pages of this book. Were talking black, thick strands of hair. Hair that is so fresh, the ends that once were sprouting from a fleshy head were sticking in between the pages. I couldn't believe how much hair was in the pages of this classic work of literature. So with that I urge you, please...use sticky notes, scraps of paper, if you must even fold the pages. Under no circumstances though should anyone ever use hair to bookmark their pages, no one wants your hair in their book. I don't care if you think it preserves the paper or even adds to the story. The only thing it truly adds to is the repulsion of your readers.

To shatter one's self perception..

As l ponder at the point l reside in life's spectrum, l wonder if l am able to face the dark nights of the soul. Can l withstand the three to six that we all must go through, the darkest watch of the night? What will keep me standing when others around me break in agony and wither on the cold pavement of life?s unfair reality? Will it be my character? Perhaps, but where does my character reside? Does it play a role in my life now? As a Christian man, I believe certain truths. I believe that I must keep my mind and eyes pure from sexual images and ideas (as I am unmarried). Do I practice this and strive with all sincerity? Do I plead and cry out for help when I am unsuccessful? Do I practice truth in all areas of speech and action? Am I consistently late (and selfishly view my time as more important)? Do I life for my own convenience or the service of others. I ask myself this so that I may shatter my self-perception and view through the broken pieces to the harsh mirror of reality. I desire to see myself for who I really am?but would I be able to handle what I see? Through the eyes of grace someone sees us for not who we are, but for who we can be. But we can be nothing without His Son. May Jesus continue to show you not for who you are, but what you can be. Of course, it is pointless to do anything without Christ Jesus. If you don?t spend time to know and grow in Him, you won?t be able to see yourself for who you really are.

The depravity of a sinful man

Sin
Like a parasite, it sucks all the life out of you...and keeps taking. Like a disease it makes you vile and unclean. It affects your behavior, I hesitate to be by people because they might get infected. Hypocrite, I live a double standard. Even when I feel on a valley and have divine protection....it hovers over me. It slimes accross my body, scanning for a habbit or weakness where it can eat away from the inside. It strikes and twists and claws at my flesh, making me a hollow man. Once I encouraged others to keep me accountable, but now like Mr. Hyde I snap at them, hoping they will run. Run, Run, everyone run...from my sickness, my slime of sin, it becomes a pool at my feet. The pool forms hands...the hands form talons...from the hands come arms...arms that seem so strong. They pull on my skin and flesh, grabing anything that they may grasp. They are so Strong! They pull me under, to there detestable leval. "HELP"...I ring of a blood curtling screem, "HELP, PLEASE...". Tears streem down my face and fall into the impeding Slug. "I am sorry", I choke out..."I am sorry I pushed you away, all of you away...please don't leave me here"!! "Are you going to leave me here?!?" But no one can hear my cry, for they can not see my silent unmerciful killer. People walk by me, and they smile. They look apon my sufficating body...and THEY SMILE! Why do they smile? What inhuman person would see one of there own, choking, struggling, dying.....and smile?!? The strangest part is...I smile back. And then, I loose hope. I discontinue my struggle, and allow the razor sharp talons...the crusing hands...and the blackest arms to tear me apart and submerge me. All Hope is lost! I am discusting. I am weak. I am empty. I Am cold. I am hurting. I am alone.
And then He comes. At the moment when no one else is willing to touch me... He reaches down. His strenght is unfathomable, as He lifts me out of the devouring muck with ease. My hands touch His hands, and then I understand...my skin touches His...and I feel his scars. Scars that were created, that were inflicted, for this exact moment, so he could lift me up from this deadly dark murk. I examin myself to find that none of the sticky poision is attached to me, it lies at a puddle at my feet. I say to him, "How is this possible"? He says "What is impossible for man, is possible for God." (Matthew 19:26)

Do not dry pants in the oven...

One would think that by getting up an extra hour early, I would have plenty of time to get to work. This is not the case though, especially since I had no clean pants and my dryer doesn?t work. This was my predicament this morning. I had a wet pare of kackies that I needed dry. The mistake I made was assuming that the oven would do just as good of job as the dryer. It doesn?t, for those of you who don't know that yet. I didn't have a big pan or a big oven (it was an electric oven for those of you who think that this story might end with fire, it doesn?t). I had to fold the pants three times to fit them on the pan and get them in. To make a long story shorter, I pulled the pants out and they were not evenly dry. There were some wet spots still, but the water was evaporating do to the high temperature of the pants (I could not even hold them they were so hot). I then noticed something different about the pants. They were discolored; the ends that were folded were discolored. I was appalled, my nice new pants looked like some three year old tried to tie die them and failed. I had purple streaks on my once brown pants....it was a disaster. What is the moral of the story? Wearing wet pants is better then purple striped pants.

"I am 13 years old. I come from Bagato village a few kilometres away from Hangu city. I was admitted to the Madrassa Tajweedual Quran two years ago. The Holy Koran is comprised of 30 chapters and I have learnt seven chapters by heart so far. "

This was quoted by Muhammad Hashim who is on his way to completing the Hiffaz (which is learning the Koran by heart). He is one of many Islamic males who embark this quest, and it would seem many finish in their mid twenties. Few I find show such devotion to a book. When was the last time that you or I were so devoted to a book that we set out to memorize every word on every page? I am a servant of Jesus Christ, and I am shamed to say that I perhaps spend .1% of my day specifically devoted to memorization. It is true that I am not sure what motivates such individuals, perhaps legalism or parental pressure. That dose not excuses my ability to be easily sidetracked. Video games, television, movies, they may not all be bad, but what part do they play in my future. What impact will I reverberate in our world by spending my time playing Video Games? Even if I don’t believe in Muhammad Hasim’s God and recognize that his studies are in vain, he could teach me a lot about dedication and priorities. May I be as devoted to my One True God as Muhammad Hasim is to his. You can see the interview with Hashim and others at http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/talking_point/4715235.stm#muhammad