How do I define Success?

Merriam Webster defines it as “a favorable or desired outcome”, such as wealth, favor, eminence. I thought about success, and ways that I potentially defined it. I suppose as of now I consider it being able to contribute at my workplace. But isn’t there so many more ways to be a success aside from work? I don’t want my success to be limited to just work. I want my desire to succeed to apply to my entire life.

To succeed is to accomplish something you set out to do. Before I can define success, I need to define my goal. I can’t succeed unless I know where my goal ends. In that case, what is the goal of my life? What footprint do I want to leave in this world? If I start from there, I’ll have a better answer of what I want to do and what success is for me. I want to live a purposeful life, not void of direction.

The demise of a Penn State football coach causes me to reflect on inaction...

Anyone following news lately is familiar with the outspoken faith of Tim Tebow. However, after listening to a podcast about the recent death of Joe Paterno, I never realized the Coach said a prayer after every game. I, like many, remember him as the coach who was fired for not doing something more to stop the children abused by coach Jerry Sandusky. Sad that not doing more was the legacy he will be remembered by many. Edmund Burkes is famous for stating "The only thing necessary for the triumph [of evil] is for good men to do nothing". Joe Paterno has publicly stated that he regretted not doing more to stop Coach Sandusky. It makes me recount in my life of the times where I have been guilty of inaction. It is my opinion that G.K. Chesterton said it best in his responded to an article in a respective newspaper. “Dear Sir: Regarding your article 'What's Wrong with the World?' I am." Ditto Mr. Chesterton.

Publish Post

Becoming a better online communicator...

One of my weaknesses is communication. This is especially true of online communicaton. I found these helpful articles (here & here) that express good tips when sending out emails. If your like me, then they are worth checking out.

Comfort and the fish...

"You should always take steps out of your comfort zone from time to time; for if you do, you are bound to come across something beautiful. Sometimes greatness waits just beyond the mysterious door that we never choose to journey through." A friend of mine wrote this, and I see its truth in my own life. Many of the times I've witnessed God work involved me stepping out out of my comfort. In fact, this serves as a reminder, since I've not done that lately. I remember back during my undergraduate days at something I had witnessed in my own life & upbringing... that comfort can kill Christians. If we become complacent, we can die. Harsh maybe, but the same is true of the salmon who swims up stream. If he lets the river win, then he dies. Our struggle in this world is quite similar only the life that we save is spiritual, and surviving may cost us our life- at least the one we want.

Have I lost a heart for the lost?

Today's reading in Oswald Chambers My Utmost for His Highest was quite convicting. He states "God continually introduces us to people in whom we have no interest, and unless we are worshiping God the natural tendency is to be heartless toward them." Chambers then asks if our daily activities are pushing out our time for Worshiping God. He ends with the question "Are our lives in the proper place so that we may participate in the intercession of our Lord and the Holy Spirit?"

This is especially convicting because the last six months I have not truly thought much about the salvation and restoration of my colleague. Just yesterday a colleague whose office is next to mine indicated that both she and Clark had been praying whenever she heard me talk to my office mate about God. It then dawned on me that the 3 Christians I know in my company of 400,000 (granted I've not even met .01% of them) have their offices next to mine. Could it be a coincidence that these two believers are only a ear shot away? Of course... but then coincidences are Gods way of remaining anonymous.

The Crappy Christmas Pt 2

This is not the first time I've talked about a Crappy Christmas.

However, this year the sullen mood results from facing the fact that I soon will not have a Grandfather. Recently I've gotten to spend some quality time with him. In such a short time I've seen him express both extreme joy and deep sorrow.

A couple days ago I told him that I donated my birthday to Him, and used it to raise money for Blood/Water Mission. I was able to raise $370 dollars towards the cause. He started crying; first for the joy he felt, then for the unresolved sins in his life. It was very powerful- I've never seen him cry so uncontrollably before.

I also had to help my grandma clean up after he alleviated himself in his diper. I hesitate to even type these words- as the act itself is seems so degrading that it should remain private. And yet that is what people tend to do with their Sin. They try to hide it so the appalling reality is hidden under the covers. As disgusting as it was in both sight and smell, what I was witnessing was nothing in comparison to the way God views our sin. The process really made me reflect on the purpose of Christ birth and death on this Earth. Christs death allows God to pick us up from our own filth and wipe off the sin excrement. God then restore us to a pure state. Why.... because of His Love!

Designing a web interface and.... woah, I'm a Glutton!

While looking at blogs to get ideas for designing a User Interface, I came across this phrase (linked here)

Most people think of gluttony in terms of eating. However, the more generic definition of this sin is over-consuming something to the point that it is wasted. It’s a desire to consume more than you can possibly consume.

Wow, I realize recently I have become a glutton for movies. Why? Is it because I download on average 6 movies a day? Is it because my Netflix in-box has 250 movies saved in its queue? Is it because I have two hard drives with about 500 gigabytes filled with movies? Is it because I have around 200 movies on DVD? Is it because I have an accounts at nine different video stores in the midwest? Is it because I know of all the web sights where you can watch free movies/TV? (stagevu.com, quicksilverscreen.com, hulu.com, veoh.com, crackle.com, sidereel.com, surfthechannel.com, southparkstudios.com, vimeo.com, youtube.com, megavideo.com, megaupload.com, tudou.com, .....).

While these are all symptoms of gluttony, I don't believe any alone represent my depravity. They are symptoms, not its source.

I identify myself as a glutton because I acquire so much more than I'm able to consume. Why do I do it? Because I can never have enough... because it is a habit....because I am sinful. We as humans are all to familiar with self destructive tenancies.

I recognize this tendency in my life. Please God, now give me the desire and strength to break it.

a dream within a dream....

Last night I had a dreamed that I was dreaming about my ex girlfriend. It is weird to have a dream in a dream. Then in my dream I was analyzing what I needed to do in response to my dream. In my dream was planning how I would get her back. It was interesting because I don’t think about her much anymore, however she still seems to haunt my subconscious. Why is it that there are those who still haunt us despite having little to do with our current lives? People who have left their mark so vividly that even in their absence they haunt our dreams. Be wary of the people you entrust yourself to. The impact they have may be far greater than you can ever realize.

Driving vs. Crashing Through Life...

Yesterday one of my housemates (and the nephew of the landlord) wrecked his car. Somehow he managed to hit a guardrail head on. As I heard him arguing with his uncle in a mixture of Polish/English, It made me reflect on an epiphany I had come to the week before while reading Tim Kellers Counterfeit Gods. To really dive into it, I need to introduce it as it was revealed to me.
Have you ever found yourself frantically search for your keys as you contemplate on being late for an appointment or work? If not, I commend you..., and you're a weirdo. For those more normal individuals who occasional find themselves misplacing things, this may strike a cord. I assure you there is a sense of urgency, and you experience a sense of tunnel vision where nothing else matters. The reasoning behind this is simple, if we can't find our keys then we can't get to where we need to go.
In Ephesians 2 we here Paul talk about the same dependence. Why don't I radically pursue Christ like I do when I lost my keys? Don't I realize I will never be able to drive on the Christian Road of life without Him? My past week I did little this to seek Jesus, and the byproduct was a multitude of selfish decisions. However, focusing on not making those selfish decisions is fruitless, because if I did not want to make them I would not have. My problem is I need to change not just behavior, but the mind in heart that leads to such behavior. Despite what psychology has taught me, I seem to be unable to do on my own. Therefor, absolute surrender seems to be the only option.

Life in Christ

Chapter 3 of Collossians has such a similar message to the one Tim Keller Presents in Counterfeit Gods. Tim's Message focuses on the Empty Promises of Money, Sex, and Power. Paul's message is that "we are to be concerned about heavenly things". This section is not a 10 point bulleted list of ways to "live the Christian life"... but rather something so simple it is easily missed, "Set your mind on things above...". If I lost my keys, I would look for them where I suspect I lost them. I wouldn't do anything else before I find them, probably because I wouldn't be able to get where I am going without them. I need to be as passionate when finding true life "In Christ", I must go where Christ is, and seek Christ, for only then will I be able to get anywhere in the Christian life.

After reading this article, i am wondering if my ambiguious tendency was a factor in my three year dating relationship. The high ambivalence had been useful in counseling situations, but not ideal in long term relationships.

"Such shades-of-gray people tend to have trouble in relationships...they stay in relationships longer..."

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703694204575518200704692936.html

My problem with Multi-Level Marketing

I had two friends pitch Network marketing (multi level marketing) to me last week. Not a fan of the whole process, especially since it has some inherent flaws. However, my problem is that I can no longer trust my friends. Let me explain. When I watch a advertisement on TV, I already know there is an agenda attached to the ad. However, when a friend recommends me something, I am typically more apt to consider their recommendation. However, when a friend wants to talk to me about network marketing (and does not tell me upfront), automatically they become a walking commercial to me, pushing to others what ultimately benefits them. I know in some fashion or another we all do this with our peers- but at a socially acceptable level. However, with multi-marketing, friends become dollar signs. I never wish to see my friends as means to an end.

faith.... allowing us to believe in fiction?

After just having a great conversation with my office-mate about God, I am attempting to understand how he perceives the world. He sees faith as a way to believe the ridiculous. I have actually heard that statement a number of times with people, perhaps more so since moving to California. Is faith truly a way for us to bridge the gap between reason and the ridiculous? When Jesus talks about faith, how is it defined in the culture of His day? How do I communicate faith to a western world that believes science and religion are opposing forces? A world that does not believe what it can't see, and scoffs at the idea of God as the Creator Have we the church created this paradigm by not adhering to 1 Peter 3:15? Are we as individuals not prepared to give an answer to why we follow Christ? Have we not asked our self the tough questions that the outside world asks of us? Have we not given it with gentleness and respect? I find that those who are most adamant about their point in a discussion, are least comfortable with it. Perhaps more time should be spent reflecting on why we have hope. Do we except blindly what was put before us as children? Let us not forget that we are to worship God in both Spirit and Truth (John 4:23).

Usability testing & revealing the True Self....

If I've learned one thing while doing usability testing these past couple weeks with participants, it is not to ask them about what they would do in the future. The thing is, when asked about a future scenario, many people do their best to answer truthfully. However, they answer with their ideal behavior. We like to think we'll behave in the most logical, effective manner. In short, we want to think we'll do the right thing. However, people don't always act logically, and we don't always do what's ideal. It is true we want to predict future behavior so we can anticipate software that will respond to this behavior. Yet, asking participants may not get the answer we need.The best way to predict future behavior is to look at past behavior.

The statement has personal implications as well. If we want to see the predisposed pattern that we gravitate towards, look at past decisions. If we want a realistic portrayal of our self... look at past decisions. Get the picture? To better understand the true self vs. the ideal self.... look at the decisions the true self has made. This reveals his/her strengths and faults, his/her shining moments and his/her sins. The best way to reach the ideal self is realize you are not that person- and embrace the true self.

Stolen Waters

The moment the human body experiences that kind of relationship (sexual intimacy), the seduction is to find the feeling without the cost of it. And the cost of it actually is what preserves the feeling, otherwise even the feeling ultimately dies...it is not a feeling, it is a fact of a commitment which properly expressed, preserves the feeling. Improperly expressed, the feeling will die out and the person becomes diminished in the process.
...as painful as it is, you have to find ways and means ... to crucify yourself in that desire, and ask the Christ ...to be to you what only he can be to you in this and nobody else can. - Ravi Zacharias

Language # 2

I guess it should be no surprise that the the more motivated you are to learn a language, the more successful you will be at language acquisition. I've been "trying" to learn Spanish since visiting Honduras back in 2006. However, I guess trying means listening to the podcast "Coffee Break Spanish" every so often and taping Spanish flash cards up around my room.

However, staying motivated to learn a second language seems equally as daunting as the language itself. One of the benefits of learning a language young include hearing the difference in pronunciation, which are cemented at a early age. Plus your faculties and energy are more honed in this skill. Since learning a language for me is simply recreational, I find it difficult to devote the time needed to the task. Right now learning consists of watching Soy tu Duena and a impromptu flash card session. I'm not even sure how helpful watching the hour long Spanish soap opera (it's true what they say) a day truly is. I hope one day I'll have the benefit of immersion to motivate me- but until then I'm left with a half heated motivation. On top of that, my recent schooling in french was actually detrimental to the Spanish I did know (it's called double semi lingualism). If you have stuck it out and do speak two languages- kudos.

The Truth about Science...

This started as a simple response to a friends blog, however the response elaborated into my own post.
Objectivity is a tenant of science like legs are the foundations of a table. However, any firm believers in such objectivity may be sadly dismayed to find that objectivity better resembles the tablecloth rather than the foundation. Jack Webb's character on Dragnet was infamous for saying just the facts ma'am. (On a brief side note, this phrase is incorrect. The actual phrase was All we know are the facts ma'am). You may have also heard the popular phrase "the facts speak for themself".

Research is conducted to find the facts of a situation. However, those facts are sought to prove or disprove a hypothesis. When we make an argument for a case, our arguments contain a premise and conclusion. So what if a underlying premise is difficult to deduce? For instance, the statement "We are causing global warming" contains a underlying premise: the rate of increase in global warming is increasing, the increase is unhealthy, and we are the cause.

I still believe it is important to do extensive research in your suppositions and science is the best model we have of pursuing knowledge- but it is simply a tool that's at the mercy of its wielder. Scientist are still attempting to prove their own hypothesis. (not saying that in itself is not a bad thing; as human factors expert Jeff Atwood points out in his blog, research without a purpose is pointless). Therefore, unless you read the raw data, your simply getting a experts point of view. While good scientist recognize that they have an innate bias and factor that into their tests, this added value is lost on the reader if they lack a understanding of the data and statistics used to analyze the data. Since the average person is often unaware of complex arithmetic equations used in research, they are forced to trust the deductions of the experts. But, the experts don't always know what they are talking about (read the book "the experts speak" if you doubt this).

So to summarize, we should be aware that often we are getting someone's interpretation of the facts. These interpretations themselves carry their own baggage. This is unavoidable, since everything we do is colored with emotional overtones. Basically we can't strip the impact that emotions play in our decisions, choices, and beliefs. However, that's a topic for a different time...

giving up myself

I give myself to God because he keep me from giving myself to unholier pursuits. I give myself to God because It is the only way to keep myself. I give myself to God because He gives the best return on my investment.I give myself to God because He makes new what I gave Him. When I don't give up myself, I end up loosing myself. Giving him the day releases any fears that my life is irrelevant and ultimately pointless.

The Old Man & the Fox

(Not a true story, however it was inspired by my first experience with a Fox yesterday)

There was an old man, retired, who lived deep in the woods alone. However, the man did not feel alone. He had the birds to sing to him in the morning and the coyote’s song at night. His entertainment was watching the dear and the rabbit from his porch and the mischief of the possum. But his most recent and favorite guest of all was the fox.

Once a week the man would take 40 minutes drive into town to visit and gather food. He had the same routine of visiting the library for a few books, than the grocery store for some perishable items and sometimes the hardware store. The last stop he always made though was to visit the butcher, to buy leftover scraps for his friend- the fox.

The fox was a slender small little creature who made his first appearance only a short while ago. He was an extremely short animal, only a foot off the ground. The little fox seemed to have been separated from his pack. He was quite skinny and sniffed the grown around the porch for food. The old man sat on the porch and thought to himself that such an unusually shy creature must have a stomach louder than his fear of humans.

The kind old man had pity on the fox and threw out some scraps onto his hard from his dinner that evening. The fox readily consumed the scraps of food, and left. The following day around the same time, the man was on the porch and noticed this fox had returned, licking his lips in expectation. The old man welcomed the new company and gladly provided the days dinner. This pattern continued till almost a year had gone by.

One day however, the fox did not meet the man at their scheduled time. The man waited for a while- and finally went to bed. When he noticed the fox was absent again the second day, he went on a hike to find his mammalian friend. The man walked for miles and miles in the woods until evening approached. Before the sun sought to hide its face, the old man found his friend. Upon closer inspection, the man saw that the fox’s leg was caught in a trap. The man could see the fear on his little friends auburn haired face, and felt pity. The man reached down to release the creature from his bind. The fox felt fear and bewilderment- he did not understand the man’s intentions, only that the man was causing his leg to hurt more. The fox bit the old man.

The man withdrew his hand in pain, and for a moment was tempted to leave the fox. However, the man thought to himself, “my friend hurt me, but could it be because he is scared and in pain? If I truly care for this creature- I would think about his needs above my own.” Therefore, the man did not withdraw his help, even when the fox bit him a second and third time. After about ten minutes, the man was able to help the fox get his leg out of the trap. When the fox was finally free, he dashed into the woods, never seen from again by the old man. The man walked home and treated his wounds; all the while hoping the fox would be able to recover from his wounded leg.

The next time the man was in town, he swung by the butcher to pick up food for himself. The butcher asked about the bite marks on the old mans arm and change in meat purchases. The man shared with him the story of his friend, the fox. The Bucher responded in bewilderment, “Why did you help a creature that hurt you in return, and showed no gratitude in the end.”

The man replied with a soft smile on his face “Caring means initiating without expecting a return. It seeks to understand the plight of a friend, even when they don’t understand it themselves. It may even mean hurting a friend more to help them in the end. It could involve subjecting oneself to pain, simply to see a friend free.” As the man left, the butcher was surprised at all the wisdom the man had gained simply from opening his heart to a small creature- the fox.

Touch me!

Touch is good for physical health. It is a primary reinforcer and is inherently pleasurable. When you get touched on the forearm, it sends a signal to your orbital frontal cortex, which is involved in reward (click here to learn more). This is very similar to when we taste pleasurable foods, like chocolate for instance. The tactile system is also the largest system in the body and first to develop in a fetus (check out Haptic Communication). I probably should throw a disclaimer in here. Context is key. If a girl I liked touches me on the arm , then my heart is through the roof. However, I don’t like when mr. strange comes up behind me and starts rubbing my shoulders. Different cultures also have their own set of norms. For instance, in Thai culture, it can be considered offense to touch someone’s head.

This phenomenon is not unique to our species alone. France Dual & Jane Goodal discovered that chimps groom each other when there is no bugs in their environment. And why do chimps systematically share food with those who've recently groomed them? Because touch brings about reciprocity. Darleen Francis of UC Berkley also found that rat mothers who spend more tactile content with their babies had cubs with stronger immune responses and calmer responses to environmental stresses. (check out pg 170 in book emotions, stress, and health).
Not only has tactical content shown to reduce/remove external stresses, but babies also have been shown to live longer if they receive daily tactile content (cited in this article on orphanages). The research shows it and your body knows it- we want to be touched!

To learn more, check out the lecture "The Communications of Emotion" By UC Berkly professor Dacher Keltner- which you can download if you click here.